At Odds With Technology

I’ve mentioned this earlier as well.. technology and I have a very troubled relationship… my PC acts all temperamental just before that all important submission, the conference call lines decide not too cooperate only during a crucial client call. Last week I was at the receiving end of one of the worst mood swings of technology which turned a major meeting into nothing short of a fiasco !!

We went running helter skelter from one conference room to another : sometimes the phone line would play truant, at others the laptop which we were to use to show our presentation decided not to cooperate. We were fortunate enough to have a client who had a sense of humour to be able to tolerate those glitches and kind enough to let us steer through the presentation despite repeated .breakdowns..thank god for small mercies !!  For me this was yet another manifestation of Murphy’s Law in the workplace…

You’ve got mail

All that I learnt in b school is gradually coming to naught !! Wait don’t go.I’m not being cynical… read on and you’d know what  I am talking about…its not your finance/ HR/ marketing skills that come to your rescue…rather its the art of writing emails and beautifying powerpoint presentations !! 

Emails to tell your boss and people at the top how you’re slogging round the clock, if you’ve got a laptop then be certain to send out these emails at unearthly hours…its sure to create ripples 😉

You don’t know how to  do something in particular..wait all you’ve got to do is write a snappy email and circulate , delegate and finally abdicate all responsibility . It works like nothing on earth ….

When you have people asking for your inputs..be as critical as possible…its sure to tell people you know what you’re talking about..

Don’t spend too much time working in all likelihood there is someone just waiting to steal your limelight… There is someone who taught me its important to keep telling people what you’ve done and how its a ” Path – breaking ” initiative !!  Make sure to use fancy, lofty lingo when you put this down an email…

For those of you wanting to get into b-school or have just landed there…go all out to sharpen your email writing skills and cultivate the ability  to use superlatives to describe your work !!

Politically (In)Correct

Over 2 years in the corporate world have been more than enough to tell me that what we were taught in MBA about organizational dynamics was a whole lot of blah !! Organizational Dynamics is nothing more than a glorified jargon for politics at the workplace…Everyone runs their departments like mini fiefdoms guarding them rather ceremoniously !! Forget about cooperation and collaboration..it seems information is not meant for sharing with colleagues and co-workers, rather it is something we must hoard and guard rather zealously. Its as if sharing information will disempower you ..If you dare to tread into someone else’s territory you’ve asked for trouble… All this is based on an unspoken understanding..and obviously some dense people like yours truly take a while to grasp the nitty gritty of such dynamics…

Have you observed political subtexts in your workplace , do share your experiences….

Random Ramblings…

When standing up for what you deserve doesn’t come naturally. It can be quite a task.. today I attempted standing up for myself..it was quite a half baked attempt, somewhat apologetic.. it did not get me what I wanted but it certainly gave the other person an insight into the fact that I wasn’t all happy being taken for a ride.I might have fumbled a little but I did put my displeasure across at not getting my due and believe you me its such a load off one’s head and heart !! . For someone who has always dodged confrontations and conflicts it didn’t come easy.Its often happened with me..even when someone tried taking a pot shot at me I would keep quiet.(suffering in silence is no virtue is what I’ve discovered lately, rather its almost cowardly !!).wise retorts were never my forte :(. This forces me to sit down and think.. why do we women shirk away for asking for what we want ??  Is it the fear of losing the equation with the other person or is it that we aren’t quite equipped to deal with a change in status quo…why are we so programmed to put everyone else’s needs above our own  ?? Why would we rather crib, hold resentment rather than ask for what we want ?? Is it the way we were reared our is it something that is ingrained in our DNA ? 

Despite racking my brains I haven’t yet come up with an appropriate answer..do you have any thoughts ?? I could do with some sane,objective opinions…might just clear my mental fog and put things in perspective for me !!

The Devil Wears Prada

After reading the Devil Wears Prada yet again I’ve come to the conclusion all bosses universally bear  a close resemblance or atleast some resemblance to the boss from hell : Miranda Priestly. 😀  They are so hard to please, always  find a way to find something wrong with what you’ve done even though you’ve spent hours trying to make it flawless, and they always dump you with work you weren’t hired to do !! If you rack your brains you’d notice there  is  a little bit of Andreah in each of us ;we leave no stone unturned to make the boss happy, we  force ourselves to wear plastic smiles ( the corners of the mouth start hurting if you’ve ever tried it) even when what we’ve done is either being dissected , torn to shreds or being owned up by somebody else ( in most cases it’s a kin of Miranda Priestly), we have to display saintly patience even when we feel like raving and ranting  ( muttering under one’s breath is the maximum one can get away with) !!  Here’s a quote i read somewhere its very apt to most work situations : “The world is divided into people who do things–and people who get the credit.”

Its Time to Wake Up !!

Certain developments at work and elsewhere have just taught me that its time  I spoke up, stopped taking things lying down and stop being such a walkover. Sometimes I give people a very long rope, keep waiting for things to happen to me instead of being proactive. Brings nothing except a feeling of being trampled upon and being used. Which isn’t too great for one’s self esteem. Its high time I woke up from my slumber and saw things for how they really are.

Pass On The Buck …

A colleague of mine taught me a very vital lesson today if you want to succeed.at work. pass the buck  for all your faults…. and steer clear of owning up responsibility for any mistakes ever… People these days seem to be teaching me thumb rules of surviving the corporate world… not long back a senior colleague taught me how to own up all the good work and bask in its glory…. Here are a few pointers for not-so-worldly wise people like me :

Pass on the buck for anything that goes wrong : exchange a few intense mails and conveniently wash your hands of the situation…

Keep your eyes and ears open – wherever you see the chance of a project succeeding ..hurry own it up don’t let any chance of hogging the limelight at work slip away ..

Don’t ever disagree with your boss : all display of individuality should be restricted to the personal front…

Look hassled and occupied all day : even if you don’t have an iota of work behave as if you are on the verge of completing a path breaking task….don’t stroll in the corridors …always walk in long quick strides as if you’re headed for an urgent meeting…cultivate the persona of a workaholic

Don’t think your work will speak for you ( it seldom does 😦 ) At the risk of  sounding like you are bragging rave and rant about how you work all day and all night…how you don’t get any time for anything but work…Trust me it works like nothing on earth….

Passing the Buck also involves sending a plethora of mails ( always with your boss on cc! ) and ensuring that you palm off all your work to not so assertive  coworkers and meek as a mouse juniors…just make sure you get involved at the eleventh hour to take all the credit…

For all the girls.. don’t ever try and be Ms.. Goody two shoes it helps to cultivate a menacing ..don’t mess with me attitude…

I’m sure all of this would make me sound a cynic …but it’s based on few astute observations..I don’t necessarily follow them to the tee and find them rather lopsided… if you have some to share feel free to add to the list ….for all you know we might end up with a manual soon !!