With the traces of time and the touch of experience, we learn to stop fighting what life throws our way. It’s a rather slow journey which starts with us trying to battle what happens to us, question it and finally we learn the art of graceful acceptance. From a baffled why me you move to a never mind and finally settle for ‘ it happened for a reason’.
There comes a time when we learn to stop wrestling the darkness, stop letting tumultuous days get to us and start learning the art of accepting life in all its uncertainties, ugliness and veracity and finally we learn to embrace those uncertainties, and enjoy the roller coaster ride that is. It is all about making peace with the demons that haunt us.
Brimming with joie-de-vivre
With dreams dancing in hazel eyes
She walked into a world unknown
She waited on the fringes with trepidation
She waited with bated breath
to find acceptance not ownership
to be loved not judged
she waited for the comfort
to unmask her fears
She ached to be her quirky self
She craved spaces in togetherness
and the freedom to speak her mind
She waited until eternity
to be understood not labeled
Until the fringes became her own
A place she could call home.
A source of strength
A vortex that can
Twirl the soul
A comfortable home
A lonely, dark recess
A harmonious tune
A jarred refrain
Stirring chords of solitude
Or stringing lyrics of loneliness
Silence is a strange melody
You can turn it into
What you want it to be
Darkness will entice us into its tentacles
Envelop our lonely hearts
Throw us in a volley
But light always has a way
Of creeping into hearts cold with fear
Through the unlikeliest corners
Just read this the other day and it got me thinking. When do we probe enough to peel the layers? How often do we scratch the surface and look at ourselves or other people sans the layers? Do we care to scrape the masks and see people without labels? Without trappings of a function or a designation. We live in such transactional and mechanical times, where people matter to each other as long as they are of some use to each other. The moment they stop being of utility, they cease to matter or exist. Then there are others who become a role. They identify themselves so obsessively with a particular role that it percolates into all spheres of their lives.
What are we beneath all those layers? What are we beyond the trappings of labels, societal expectations and materialistic paraphernalia? We’re all achingly vulnerable and trapped in longing. Lost in translation. We bear the burden of buried dreams, of having loved , of winding in a sense of loss, of being trapped in fear, aching to be liberated from the lies we weave around ourselves. We’re waiting to be accepted, hungry for approval. We’re seeking our space, creating a metier. We’re all wounded little children waiting to fly away from hurt.
An epiphany has a way of unfolding in the most chaotic of moments. In one of those rare reflective moments, it dawned on me that we attract the difficult situations and people we need in our lives. These are merely a reflection of all that we refuse to confront in ourselves. Our relationships or conflicts with other people will always reveal something about our own selves that we refuse to own up to, they hold a mirror to the chaos that we mask with our seemingly calm exteriors. All that we deny or brush under the proverbial carpet surfaces during tumultuous encounters.
If you’re the kind of person who is essentially non-confrontational, you will inevitably be thrown into situations with aggressive people who want to corner you and pin you down. People who go please others at their own cost, inevitably attract people who want to exercise control and those who refuse to be pleased with anything you would do. These difficult situations and people keep manifesting in one form of the other, until we draw our lessons. Until we unfetter ourselves from all that holds us from being our authentic selves. . Life has its ways of catapulting us into situations that force us to wrestle and confront our demons rather than shoving them in a quiet corner of our souls. We can choose to resist and close our eyes and carry on the business of life. Or take on these demons head on and emerge wiser and buoyant.