Why Change ?

This quote that I read becomes more meaningful for me with time.” People would always try to change you ,but being yourself is the biggest challenge.” I still haven’t been able to fathom despite contemplating often as to why do we change people around us ? Especially family and friends.. We seldom understand that each person is unique and his / her own shortcomings and strengths. Yet it’s a human tendency to dwell on the weaknesses and to keep badgering our loved ones to change . Even though we have their best interest at heart , we seldom realize in a bid to change people we only destroy them..It would be tougher for us but more liberating to accept them and ourselves as it is.. Perhaps it is a rather utopic thought but I continue to hope against hope ! 🙂

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10 thoughts on “Why Change ?

  1. Ya, people are first to notice the negatives and start on the advice motor! It ruptures their personality to be changed and one day they will explode! people shd dread that day at least and stop their change mantras

    Good one again… loi 🙂

    Have fun over the weekend… do you have a long one too..

  2. I think it is human nature of focus on the shortcomings of others. In a way it kind of makes us feel better about ourselves. Then we go on to barge them, trying to get them to change.

    I think we all change with time, but never because of what someone says. The trying to change someone is a futile effort which ends up hurting the feelings of the person we in our mind are trying to help.

  3. It is not always this way that we ‘dwell on the weaknesses and to keep badgering our loved ones to change ‘. Yes, it is a human tendency, but this may not always be the reason and i can tell u that from personal experience.

    I also belong to the same category. I began to observe that i usually do this much more with the ones i love! I used to ‘point out’ that this is the right way to do it, or do it this way! When i realized that others may be getting hurt by this, i began searching for the reason why i do this? why is this a part of my nature?

    And i found the answer to be in stark opposition of what is usually thought of. For me, it was not because i wanted to be proud of pointing out their weaknesses… but because i wanted them to be perfect! to be better than the rest. Because they are my loved ones, i wanted them to be free of any vices, and provide with them the right choices, be the one to show them the right way!

    But alas, it is not always taken in the same spirit… and i fear, it rarely will be.
    This is one of the classic cases of what i like to call a paradox! 🙂

  4. yeah as everyone says we tend to pick the negatives much faster then the postive one always .. though change is inevitable.. everyone changes depending on the scenario and postiion one is in .. But the true The innermost qualities that we have dont change that much .. and as you say the one who changes them is lost …

    a good thought i will say to this
    One shud not change for anyone and people who want you to change well what can i say about them … end of the day you are what you are …

    Bikram’s Blog

  5. It also depends on what change we are trying to bring into our loved ones . Isn’t that important before we say that we should accept people the way they are ..
    For example my friend would have a bad habit of being late every time . Its our responsibility as a friend to say ..” look buddy .. time is an important factor of life .. u need to give more respect to that ..u need to change. .”
    It all depends on what we want them to change and for what ..somethings are for their own than ours .Aren’t they ????

  6. Reminds me of a verse in Sanskrit which says ‘We find faults the size of a mustard seed in others, but ignore those sized like a big bilva fruit within ourselves’. Accpeting ppl as they r makes life much more easier for them as well as for self. Hoping against hope again 😉 but atleast I hope I try to follow it myself 😛

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