Live and Let Live

Last Wednesday when the Supreme court ruled that live-in relationships between  consenting adult couples can not be treated as an left me wondering whether this ruling can do anything at all to remove the stigma still attached with women who  have once been in live-in relationships. Two years back I lived in paying guest accommodation when a girl moved in with us. She was candid enough to share with rest of us that she’d been in a live-in relationship. It left me amazed when I saw 20 somethings turn into prudes and sat and judged the girl and some girls even had the audacity to avoid her after she shared this with us ( which I thought was pretty insensitive). It set me thinking, if this is how people in the twenties viewed live-in relationships who are we to blame our parents and people from their generation for being judgemental. Personally I wouldn’t be in a live-in relationship because I just can’t snap ties and move on if things don’t work.. I thrive on the tenacity, warmth and security that a long-term relationship brings.. But that in no way gives me the right to sit and judge people who’ve been in a live-in is an individual’s choice..Just because people have made a choice that we are not reared or conditioned to deem acceptable doesn’t give us a right to label them, does it ??…What do you think ??

5 thoughts on “Live and Let Live

  1. Rightly said LOI. During my college days there was a Bengali girl who used to frequent her BF’s room and would sometimes stay there. They were in a relationship and moreover it was their wish to live as they wanted. But people had to speak. And I found it a bit off. This is India and we lived in a small place. If my mom knew she would do everything in her power to keep me away from the ‘bad influence’ of the girl. But now, I still think of her as a friend. Her personal life is hers. And I respect her decisions as an individual.

    Yes lively we have no right to judge other people’s choices

  2. No one has the right to judge and talk about others’ lives who are in live-in relationship, etc. I heard a so-called friend on phone conversation gossiping about another mutual friend, I think…she was saying “Why live-in? What will they have for after marriage if they explore everything now” and some BS like that. What the hell, no idea what gave her the right to gossip about someone elses life and talk idiotic things like this. Oh well…

    Absolutely Titaxy !!

  3. Well, to each his/her own, but yes if asked for a personal opinion I would never opt fr a live-in relationship! I feel it’s against our culture…plus more than’s a relationship not a Commodity…that after usin or testing we decide whether to continue or not. I am sorry I may sound conservative but yes, that’s my belief. I feel, ppl who test fr compatibility to begin wid in a relationship…will chicken out even after gettin married once the relationship hits some rough times.

    Relationships are to be nurtured & worked upon ….
    Hi Dew you don’t need to be sorry if you think that way ..atleast you’re candid enough to take a stand !

  4. Social conditioning, that is teh reason, even a teenager won’t accept it. The thing in india is, most people are bold, and modern, when they themselves are doing those things, otherwise, they are all prudes, and part of the moral policing.

    Hi GM thanks for stopping by and commenting. usually people who can’t do do something and resent other people doing it join the moral policing brigade !!

  5. Hi,

    Came here via GMs blog.

    I think you’re so right about this. A few years back , when I too was living as a PG, I remember such kind of comments about a friend of mine, who used to visit her BF’s room and stay overnight many times. The worst part was that quite a few of the comments used to come from those who were doing the exact same thing on the sly! Hypocrites!
    Other than social conditioning, I feel quite a bit of it is attributable to jealousy of someone else who actually has the guts to make his or her own choices in life regardless of social or parental approval.

    Hi Monishikha, welcome here 🙂 I quite agree social conditioning and resentment surely are triggers of being judgemental of other people’s choices !!

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