Decoding Pre-Placement Jargon

Placement season in a b-school campus is maddening with companies pouring in and students competing to get those  jobs which pay them obscene amount of money ( post -recession these packages are no longer that obscene !!) If students have a hard time selling themselves then the recruitment teams also resort to glib talk and terminology to lure  the creme de la creme of campus to join their company. After close to three years out of campus I wanted to revisit some of the recruitment glib talk and decode it to figure out what it actually meant !!

“Our company encourages you to strike a healthy work life balance ” This probably means we load you with so much work that you have a hard time balancing it and are left with no time to live your life !!

” We have an open door policy ” Yeah right, the moment you dare to challenge your boss/ superior we make sure we show you the door 😉

” We offer a conducive and harmonious work environment ” ( This one has a rider to it, we intend paying you peanuts but we make up for it by making you sit in a snazzy office)

” We encourage talent and have a fast track growth path for deserving employees ” (This one probably means if you’re foolish enough to do work assigned to you we’ll make sure we dump you with even more !! )

” You will be placed under a manager who encourages initiative ( Since your manager is a good for nothing guy you will end up doing all his work )

” We believe in assigning responsibility early on in your career” ( From day one you’ll be loaded with work and without a clue how to handle it !!)

There can be quite a few added to the list…Do you have any to share ??

* This is just a tongue in cheek take on placement tactics..the intent is not to offend any individual in particular

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4 thoughts on “Decoding Pre-Placement Jargon

  1. ROTFL!!
    yes.. and another one – “here, you will also be able channelise your creative juices” – which probably means one would have to be doing tsome tough coding!!

    Loaded with work – yes.. no matter whether you are a fresher or an experienced person, if you are the sort who works, you will always be loaded with work!! 😀

    *did that make any sense?*

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