The freedom to choose

 
The other day while going through IHM’s Blog Post a comment around how people treat their children like possessions and don’t like their children exercising their free will or freedom of choice.set me thinking hard..This Kahlil Gibran quote came to mind..and I really wished more people followed it while raising their kids.
 
“Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of of Life’s longing for itself. They came through you but not from you and though they are with you yet they belong not to you.”
 
Why don’t we ever let our children make their choices and live by them.???..Most parents are scared and sure that their children can’t make the right choices whether its career or choosing a life partner….In the effort to protect them from hurt they sometimes end up stifling their children’s spirit… The other day  I was surfing the television for want of nothing better to do.. I stopped at this reality show where young men have come bride hunting accompanied by their moms… There was this one guy trying to convince his mom about a particular girl..but the mom was adamant and felt that the girl he was talking about wasn’t wife material.. I couldn’t take it any more and simply switched channels..
 All  I wanted to do was express my ire…shake the woman and tell her that her son was grown up enough to know what he wanted from life… Unknowingly and in the “I know what’s best for my child ” many parents have treaded over their children’s dreams and desires…
People wake up …learn to trust your children by not displaying faith in your children’s choices you are somewhere questioning and unsure of your own child rearing practices !!
Whatever you hold on too tightly could slip away completely..if you try to saddle your children with what you think is best for them and constantly deny them the right to make choices, at times falter and learn ..either they will do everything on the sly or learn to live like automations … It is essential to have kids toe the line sometimes to teach them discipline but if its a regular thing ..it no longer remains discipline it borders on a dictatorial parenting style !!
Though I am no one to comment on parenting since I am not a parent yet !! But I’ve seen so many people around me simply steamroll over their children’s wishes that it is something that I’ve always wanted to  talk about..
If you’ve got any views on the contrary or would like to add to this argument do let me know ….
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2 thoughts on “The freedom to choose

  1. by not displaying faith in your children’s choices you are somewhere questioning and unsure of your own child rearing practices !!

    I so agree!! And also with what you say next, that when we put too many restrictions on freedom, children learn to lie.

    Also we seem to assume that parents are always right, this is not true, otherwise so mant cases of bride burning after arranged marriages would not have been there.

    There are no guarantees in life except that of having the wisdom of making the best of one’s situation… and if can teach our children this, it’s like teaching a person how to fish instead of giving them food ready to eat.

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